Outsider
Feelings of middle school have invaded me - which is crazy, I know. At work yesterday, as I was gathering my things to leave for the day, I overheard of a picnic someone here at work is giving, one of those informal Labor day affairs. Some people around the office (all the cool kids) have gotten invitations and I wasn't one of them.
I felt a bit bad about not getting an invitation, though its not like I even want to go. I don't even really enjoy the company of many people here at my office (actually I just gave my letter of resignation, I'm moving to Arizona in October, but that is for another post). Regarding not being invited, I think it just has something to with being included or excluded as the case would be. Its like being on the playground all over again, no? No one wants to be picked last or not picked at all.
I am puzzled over my feelings, do they make sense? Do I just have an incredibly high level of insecurity and lack of confidence?? I need to achieve better levels of zen, so these things fall off my back like water.
posted by Virginia Gal @ 1:02 PM
8 Comments:
I understand the feeling, it never completely goes away, from the school yard through life.
oddly enough I had this conversation with my 10 yr old grandson last night- he was so sad at the playground stuff!
Ah, VG, you always have an open invitation to the villa any time, besides, I only invite "the cool kids".
Arizona? Wow! Good for you, can't wait to come visit! ;)
I think all of us cn get zapped back to middle school insecurity at a moment's notice. No one likes being excluded, even if it isn't maliciously intended.
it's so weird how that feeling never quite dies. i wonder if it's more prevalent among those of us who were nerds, dorks and the consistently ignored, or if even the popular people feel it from time to time.
you know what else feels like junior high? throwing an Annie party that is missing an Annie fan because she's got "grown up responsibilities" or some other bullshit reason. ;)
Arizona? Not for that airline with the smile? Good luck with the move!
Brenda - so true : )
Mommantor - yes me and a 10 year old grappling with this issue, sadly it doesn't go away. But don't tell him that.
Pax - thanks, does that make me cool by association with you??
Secret Agent - yes no one likes to be excluded. I think if I could concur not caring, how much cooler would I be??
Molly - you make me laugh - with your Annie comment. Though true about those feelings perhaps being accentiated because I have suffered that already as a geek.
Joe - you are too perceptive...
Can't wait to hear about your upcoming move!
The school years haunt us all. When my office split up a couple of years ago, I lost most of the friends that I would go to lunch with or see outside of work sometimes. Even though I am friendly with some folks at the office, I'm not really one of them. I miss my old friends! Thankfully, Zelda comes by from time to time to make things better!
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