Thursday, September 08, 2005

Rules for Driving in Virginia Gal Territory

Driving in Northern Virginia takes hutzpah - I would say we are the most aggressive drivers in the country - and having traveled much of the country on my flight benefits, I feel comfortable making that assertion :-) . I'm just as guilty as the next. Get me behind the wheel and mild-mannered Virginia Gal turns into Sailor-mouth, raged filled Virginia She-beast. But honestly there are just some really dumb people driving out there, to help these dingbats, here are some basic rules of driving in my neck of the woods:
1. Green means go - it is not a suggestion, put your foot on the accelator and MOVE!
2. If you drive exactly the speed limit, yipee for you, but move your butt out of the fast lane!
3. If the people to your right are taking a left, you can take a right - no one is coming from across the street - they can't because of the left-turners!
4. Take the right already, what are you waiting for a personal invitation from the DMV?
5. STOP TALKING ON YOUR CELL PHONE WHILE DRIVING!!!
6. Seen one accident, seen them all - stop rubbernecking!
7. Do not ride side by side with another car and not allow others to pass - that is rude!
8. If I'm in the slow lane, don't push me - get into the fast lane and move around me!
9. If you don't know where you are going, PULL OVER, don't brake or slow down in the middle of the street - jeez!
10. Finally, if you enjoy sleeping on the road or taking hours to get to your final destination, bully for you, but get out of my way!
Good thing I don't believe in violence (though the State of Virginia does allow me to carry concealed, hee hee).

And on a sidebar - did you know Hootie and the Blowfish have a new CD coming out? Egads, put that music nightmare out of its misery!
http://www.cbs.com/latenight/lateshow/show_info/index.shtml

7 Comments:

Blogger PissedOffPencil said...

Oh, I can see that you and me have about the same views on driving... *laughing*

On the other hand, ever since I got children I'm not as hot-headed as I used to be. :)

Yes, it definitivly makes for a better society, but a society where people are getting used to all benefits must also remind it's people about how it's financed. Or as you say in the US: There's no such thing as a free lunch.

9:29 AM  
Blogger Random Kath said...

Hey, a CD is honest work . . . at least it's better than Hootie doing those really bizarre Burger King commercials . . . that must have been a low point in that guy's career. :-)

Mr. Random says that he loves driving with me because of the faux "expletives" that I make up to shout at these imbecilic drivers. He especially likes "pud", "rectal opening", and "freakin' fishstick-head." Creative, huh?

10:31 AM  
Blogger Virginia Gal said...

Thanks POP - glad to see I'm not a total loon in my driving.
Tony - kisses back.
Random Kath - hee hee, I like your PG expletives and personally the BK ad was the best music by Hootie (can you tell I'm not a fan?, hee hee).

6:22 PM  
Blogger Maidy said...

So crappy drivers are not limited to PA, I see.

A high powered shotgun with scope mounted on the hood of your car should make them move faster. You won't even need to load it!

10:17 PM  
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