Monday, February 01, 2010

Sentimento azul em um estado ensolarado

Have you ever had that feeling, of being depressed for no apparent reason?? That has been happening to me recently and I can't explain it. I get so blue all I want to do is sit in front of the television and eat or I just burst into tears or just want to run home to my parents and cling to them.

As regular readers of my blog will know, I was often depressed in the past about not being married, but that is no longer the case. I am not in want for anything, except maybe a job, but that is more for my intellectual challenge than because we are poor. I had an amazing birthday (my birthday was January 24th) one of the best on record. So what is the cause of this depression?

The only thing I can think is that everything that has happened to me, getting married, moving all the way across the country, being jobless, away from friends and family and than losing my beloved grandfather has suddenly hit me. Does that make sense?? Has anyone else experienced that??

Actually this past weekend, when I was in Florida, I went to visit my grandfather's grave site, it was so hard. I didn't realize how difficult it would be. As my cousin and I left the cemetery, I began thinking of my loved ones and their mortality - its just to tragic to ponder. I seriously believe I will go catatonic when any of them should pass. And all of this thinking cannot be good for my on-going depression. Aye!

Any suggestions to move out of this funk are welcome!


Blogger Kerry said...

I'm so sorry to hear you're struggling. I don't really have any wise words for you, but I wanted to send you some good thoughts.

Your post did remind me of something my specialist said to me when I was seeing him about my own depression. When I was sad, my family would ask me why, and I wouldn't have an answer. So I asked him if you can be down for no reason at all, and he said yes. Sometimes, there's isn't a reason, it just is. I don't know if that helps or makes it worse. For me, it helped, so I wanted to share it with you.

The other thing I found helped me was to hold on to the fact that every second that passed was a second closer to things being better. I just had to stick it out for a second at a time, not hours or days or months. But as enough seconds went by, I had made it through the hour, the day, the week.

I hope you feel better soon. And don't be afraid to go to a doctor if you don't; sometimes it's more than you can deal with on your own and you need help.

I hope none of this sounds too pushy or inappropriate or anything. Your post touched a chord with me and I wanted to respond. You are, of course, welcome to ignore everything I've said.

3:38 AM  
Blogger Merci said...

Even good change is stressful.

It's OK to be sad about your grandfather. That's not necessarily the same thing as depression.

I'm a little bit down and kind of irritable right now, myself. Post-holiday season and post-vacation, back to work - and work is grueling these days. It helps a little to think about good things ahead.

Whenever I think about my family's mortality, I have a little panic moment. Don't spend all of your time there, though. Enjoy them right now.

9:20 PM  
Anonymous Tony said...

You're a beautiful amazingly smart young woman.
Change (even small change) is hard on everyone.... you WILL see light at the end. Promise!!!!


2:24 AM  
Blogger mommanator said...

I am sorry to say that you are NORMAL!
We all have these times and experiences! Me included! and about everyone I know. We'll get through it! My advice is to keep busy, see a doc if it gets too bad, surround yourself with things you love.
Visit the mommanator! teehee.You could help clean up my place, I am still going thru things of my hubby's, I think it will take me till I die.He was a COLLECTOR.
When you are in the throws of it, nothing seems to help, but I promise it will be better!
So how are the hubby and you doing! I loved your weddings pics!
O how about Reheads shortcake-astounding.
Sorry I went on and on, but thats me! Have a blessed day!

9:51 AM  
Blogger secret agent woman said...

You've had a lot of life changes in a short time span and even positive changes (like marriage) can be extremely stressful. I hope you are cultivating friends there, because talking it out with people can be a life-saver.

9:20 PM  
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7:10 AM  
Blogger Virginia Gal said...

Kerry - oh bless you! Everything you said hit it on the nail. I particularly like the idea of just taking it second by second, because at this point that is all I can do. Thank you for sharing!

Merci - that's the thing, what is good ahead? I don't see anything.

Tony - oh thank you, though right now that tunnel seems VERY dark.

Mommantor - oh how I wish I could keep busy but I can't even find volunteer opportunities here in Arizona! And yes Redhead's Shortcake is adorable!

Secret Agent - I'm trying but you know how it goes, no one needs new friends when they have their whole circle.

2:37 AM  

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