Florida and a wedding
I'm back from Florida - yes it was decidedly warmer there than here in D.C. - but I still had to have my jacket on in the evenings. It was good to see family, especially the girls (my cousins), we hung out a lot this weekend, watching Indian films, going out to eat, just chilling. It was nice and I'm glad I did.
Actually, I was quite depressed on Friday, I had to go to a good friend's wedding. She was getting re-married. I was happy for her, but bummed for myself. She is also like me and had the unfortunate coincidence to end up divorced also. But unlike me she got remarried within a year. I feel like such a loser. I didn't want to go the wedding, so everyone could look at me and say (behind my back) "what is wrong with Virginia Gal, why doesn't she get remarried?" and other nasty comments. I really wanted to spend Friday nursing a big tub of Ben & Jerry's, but my friend would have been very offended so I went. I actually had a good time and the whole thing was put into perspective when another good friend said to me "you would have looked like a sore loser if you hadn't come, no one is thinking bad of you and those who are, well, screw 'em." It was exactly what I needed to cheer me up.
The reason I bring this up is because before Friday night, I was seriously thinking of not going down to Florida - I love my family but they can really stress me out about my marriage situation. They were beyond nice though, no one said anything rude or mean, amazing! InshAllah by this time next year I won't have to tip-toe around the issue, I'll be married by than (or close to it!).
Hope everyone had a great Christmas (will have to check out everyone's blog to find out).
posted by Virginia Gal @ 7:52 AM
7 Comments:
I'd worry your friend isn't doing herself any favors by rushing into a marriage less than a year after her last one ended. She probably hasn't given herself time to grieve the last (even if it was lousy) which means she's bringing that baggage to her new marriage. It reminds me of the adage: Insanity is doing the samething over and over again and expecting different results. Not that every marriage for an individual is always the same, but when you don't give yourself enough time to learn from your past mistakes, you probably set yourself up to make the same ones over and over again. Regardless, I wish her luck.
But remember: all of your friend love YOU no matter how married you are!
VG,
Did I ever tell you about my older sister?
No? – Yes? Never mind, cause I’m going to anyway…
OK, here goes.
Right out of high school she meets this guy, falls head over heels in love with him. My parents throw her a wedding that breaks the damn Romano family bank. A candle-light service, a sit down, catered affair wedding, a honeymoon in Spain...
Less than one year later, they separate. Two months later they divorce.
Sister begins this life change. Goes to college, gets a degree, then gets a masters degree. Buys her own house. Dates a little but nothing major.
Then she meets this guy at a New Year's Eve party. It's been almost thirteen years since she and husband # 1 have split.
Turns out, he's the brass ring she'd been waiting for.
They are still happily married. For her, the wait was well worth it. HOWEVER, she filled her time with such growth that she bettered herself as a person.
Live for yourself, kid, everything else will fall in place. I swear!
Virginia Gal,
Pax is right, and so is your friend. Go for all of the good things available right now. Don't look too hard for a husband because you might rush into something too fast. Even if you're head over ears in love, you have to let things play out over time to see if it's right.
People probably don't comment on your life as much as you think they do. Maybe they did at one time, who knows, but they won't keep it up forever. Even if they do, who cares? People talk about each other all the time. Refuse to let it get to you, or to even think about it. If they're talking, it says more about them than it does about you. Make them respect you by being happy. Not many people accomplish that in life!
Glad it turned out to be a good weekend for you. Hope the New Year brings all good things to you!
I went to her family's Christmas eve thingie where I was supposed to do the whole one knee thing but before I could, her brother and his wife announce that they're pregnant. Oh the joy, (and the critical looks that the youngest child is the only good child who cares about the mother). Mom is crying she's so happy. I hear her say to her husband, if only it was going to be an Indian baby. Ring goes deep into pocket, hackles go up, and I'm left wondering what the heck is wrong with people.
Patrick
Awww.... you'll get married when the time is right for you... not for everyone else. Your patience will be rewarded... it may not seem that way, now, but it will be.
Don't let folks get you down, love.
I am glad you got Sound of Music and that the holiday wasn't a total wash. Love ya bunches.
Molly - thanks for reminding me that friends do love me, regardless of my marital status.
Pax - oh that is a great story - gives me hope that my brass ring is out there!
Merci - it's funny, we often think people are talking about us constantly when they probably are not, no? Everyone has their set of problems. I shall endeavor to not let all these haters get me down.
Patrick!! - glad to see you here!! Hopefully via the blogging world we can keep better in touch!
I'm sorry to hear about the aborted purposal, but don't let all the negativity bring you down. Her dad likes you! That is big!! I can't believe you are this close (putting fingers together) to getting married - this is so exciting - keep me posted (and I'll check your blog).
Tony - I hope my patience is rewarded, I worry that I'll end up in the same bad situation I was in before. I suppose I just have to have the faith, as religious folks would say. Thanks for being there - love you bunches!
aww!im glad apa cheered you up!also tat you had fun in florida!believe me nobody was talking bad about you.if they did, i wouldve been on them like penut butter on jelly girlfriend!
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