View from the 23rd Row

First I have a question for my blog friends to answer - what does it mean when a boy, who was sort of a romantic interest and hasn't contacted you in ages, calls you out of the blue? He asked that I contact him next time I'm in London - should I?

This week's post will be written by Ken K, a co-worker, I like his points and his writing cracks me up. Enjoy!

Travel tips by Ken K.
The real trick these days is getting through security. I don't know why, but there are some travelers out there who still don't know what to expect before they board an aircraft. God knows how they act once they've landed! I mean really, these are people who most likely hold jobs, drive automobiles and may even have children! It astounds me that these same people can't learn to get to the airport on time. It also astounds me that we've survived as a species, but I digress…

Getting to the airport on time is easy to do. Since airlines board flights roughly 30 minutes before takeoff, make sure you figure that half-hour into your schedule. Treat your flight time as if it were leaving 30 minutes before its actual departure time. As a rule of thumb, arrive at the airport no later than one hour before boarding time for domestic flights and no less than two hours before boarding time for international flights. I know what you're thinking: "@#$%! If I gotta get there so @#$%ing early, I may as well walk to where I'm going! It'll take less @#$%ing time!" If that's the case, then by all means, walk. Remember though, just because you have a bit of down time, don't spend it getting drunk at one of the airport bars. It's expensive for one, and for the other -- if you're too tanked, they will not board you. There is no such thing as a charming drunk.

Have what you need before you get to the airport. That is, be sure you've got your tickets, money, passport, boarding pass, photo ID, or whatever and make sure your tickets are in order before you try to get to the boarding area. It's very frustrating after standing in line to find out that you should've stopped by the ticket counter first.

Take only what you're going to need and use. Believe me, they have kitchen sinks all over the world; you don't have to pack yours. One dress outfit if you'll be attending a show or dining in a nice restaurant; two pairs of jeans; a pair of comfortable walking shoes; underwear and socks for each day you'll be abroad; prescriptions and toiletries in your carry on, and for the sake of everything that's holy, use sample sizes! It is also important to take something to read. I suggest Russian literature -- it's long enough to keep you busy during a long flight or a delay and it's big enough to smack the person in the seat next to you if there's any unwanted attentiveness.

Have fun! What's the point of travelling if you can't enjoy yourself? Board your bad mood with the dog at the kennel, you'll be better off and the lousy mutt will have something to remember you by while you're gone.