Neadering
Worked Dave Matthews concert last night....crazy ass fans - drunk, stoned, angry. Pavilion was sold out..people were whiny, 'too much traffic, too many people, not enough room on the lawn." Blah blah blah...yeah like I can control the flow of cars on 495 (the Beltway), if I had that power do you think I'd be working this $8 an hour part time job?! Sheesh! So instead I apologize...customers - always to blame, never to praise.
Heard a line from a Will & Grace re-run the other day...does it apply to me? "You're dull, ugly and you don't make me laugh"....is that why I suddenly feel so alone?? Like tomorrow I could walk into the ocean and disappear and only my family would notice. I'm tired of always being the one to email my friends. I say friends..but are they really? No one ever writes me to see how I'm doing - its always the other way around. Maybe I'm just a sad sack of a loser and no one wants to be my friend, hence they never write. Its only out of pity they respond when I write.."poor Virginia Gal, she's dull, ugly and doesn't make me laugh, but I'll write her because otherwise she has no friends." And I'm always the one making plans to get together...now I'm starting to see it must be for this reason, "I'm dull, ugly and don't make people laugh."
posted by Virginia Gal @ 11:28 PM
7 Comments:
No, Virginia Gal, people don't make plans because they are self-centered losers. (I'm just half-kidding . . .)
I have the same problem - most of the time, I'm the one who keeps in touch with our wide swath of friends and acquaintances, and it gets really annoying sometimes. However, I am lucky that I do have one friend who checks in with me if they don't hear from me for a while, and that is sometimes all you can ask for . . .
I know that you are not dull or ugly, and you can be witty here on the blog, so that's not the problem. When we reach our late 20's and 30's a sort of shift takes place and people ramp up their other parts of their lives at the cost of maintaining friendships . . . once you get back to school, I think your feelings will change because you'll be busy with schoolwork and have your classmates around you to do things with.
I think I'm babbling now, so I send many hugs your way . . . :-)
What Random Kath said. And also, I've been on both sides of this - sometimes in a place where I feel like I do all the keeping up, and other times where I am so consumed with what's going on in my life that I have little energy left for anything else. I do hope that the new school year brings plenty of distractions and fun.
OK now you have the mommanator really ready to mommanator you! What is your address and I shall do something about you and your mood. Although I feel the same way with friends most of the time! Sometimes I feel I hear from em only when they want something-money etc!
Now I know you arent ugly cause I am uglier than you so there!
Dull?? how could that be? I keep coming back to read the blogs!
Dont make me laugh at you for saying such silly things! as we grow older as cs said our freinds change as well as we do. Enjoy the changes as you can! all of us will be pushing up daisies all too son. Me before you prob you young thang!
well ... you're not making me laugh right now! chispas!
VA Gal, i don't know what precipitated this, but i know what it's like to be depressed and feel emotionally isolated. and that no one would miss you. i've felt like that many times. and hell, it's a miracle i survived the month of March, to be honest. first of all, please know that you are loved within your family and outside your family. and i, for one, pray for you often.
and Random Kath is right about life cycles and friendships. there are periods in life when friendships are easier to maintain - like high school or college because you see the same people every day and live in the same buildings, etc. and there are periods when it's harder to do: like now, when people's family lives are more dynamic than when they're 21 or 61. or becuase they've got burgeoning careers and live miles apart, and not just down the hall.
i know for me, personally, i'm trying very hard to play catch up with all the friends i feel like i've marginalized in the last year or two due to schoolwork and career moves. unfortunately, i have a long list of those relationships i need to tend to. ... and so it may be with some of your other friends, as well. you may drift apart from some of them, and that'll suck, but even that won't mean they don't still love you down deep. (i was lucky enough that a friend of mine who'd not returned my phone calls or emails for two years, and whom i'd given up on, randomly called me a few months ago and we've begun catching up. it's not that she disliked me or found me dull, ugly and unfunny - though that's probably accurate in my case - it's that her life got hectic, then heartbroken, then healed and she just slipped out of touch. plus, i think Lost was on TV and you know what a distraction that can be.)
anyway, all this rambling is to say: life runs in cycles, but trust that you are valued and loved , even when people don't carry their weight.
They wouldn't make plans with you at all if they didn't want to be around you. I'm not so good about keeping up with friends - my own insecurities cause me to be reserved in that way. I like it when friends ask me to do things with them. If I didn't want to go, I'd say no. If I go, it's because I want to and because I value my friends. Keep up the good work!
Hmm, sorry, but you don't make me laugh, you make me think. As for the rest, don't think you are dull, but haven't seen a photo of you yet for the last point.
But we do come back and keep reading.
Random Kath - thank you for the comfort, the idea that perhaps this is part of my life transistions helps, maybe I'm going through an early mid-life crisis. I could use the hugs!
CS - thanks for the insight - I do hope you are right, school will provide a welcome distraction.
Mommantor - you're so sweet - I could definitely use a mommantor visit - that would be lovely!! Your words are comforting - that maybe its just a change that happens with age, friends growing apart, not staying in touch.
Molly - thank you for the prayers, I could most definitely use them right now! After reading your comment I am realizing that maybe its not me but others - that their lives are busy or in a different stage than me...and as always you make me laugh and I could use more of that always!
Merci - oh yes, do you bring up a good point - if they absolutely didn't want to meet with me, they could have just let it go or say "no" outright...thanks for making me feel better : )
Joe - I don't make you laugh?! That's ok, I'm glad I make you think - that's a good thing. As for the photo, soon you'll see me in person and can be the judge (oh-uh, hee hee).
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