I am suffering from office post traumatic stress disorder. Regular readers of this blog will remember that last year at this time I had begin working as an Administrative Assistant at a local Phoenix university. Also, you will recollect that this was not a pleasant experience as I had the boss from hell. He was a complete micro-manger, would not even let me send out my own emails without checking it first. Every day working there was like going to battle. I had to steer myself up and each time this awful manager would communicate with me, my defenses were raised. I had to be defensive because he was always looking for excuses to find fault. It made me second guess every comment or note I received from him and in that office.
Switch to today and I’m back with good ol’e non-descript airlines, my extended family! However, I am having difficulty letting go of my defensiveness. My boss is nothing like that horrible guy at the university, yet I read her emails and sometimes her comments immediately start to get my hackles up. I am cognizant I am doing this but how to remove that barrier? I think its that defensiveness which is also hindering my becoming closer to other members in the department. How does one recover from a bad boss experience??
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7 comments:
Take the things that you learned from the bad boss, like proof-reading your emails :), and use them in your new job. But you have to make sure your mind knows that your new boss is a completely different person, with the same authority, so still treat them with all the respect your other boss demanded even if the new boss does not demand this. Push through! You can do it!!
Just time
I'll second Joe: time. And awareness. Notice it when it comes up and talk yourself through it so that you don't react defensively.
Conner - welcome! I have put your advice to work, particularly the respect part - thank you!
Joe - time a great salve for many things.
Secret Agent - Excellent point, I need to be cognizant of when I get defensively.
you need to just let it go - it is all in your head.
I had several years under a bad boss (it was hell, and it had a life-long impact), followed by a few years with a good boss. If I question the intent of something my current boss sends out, I ask him about it. I have to ask far less often now than I did at first.
Sadly, a new layer of supervision (i.e., a new boss) is moving in between my current boss and me. She is showing all of the signs of being an overbearing micro-manager, and she has been just plain wrong about some things. I am looking for new opportunities, lateral or promotional, within my current agency. If I can't get away from her that way, I will retire early, which will be an option in a couple of years. I'll have to find a job to supplement my reduced pension, but it will be worth it. I will not stay under a bad boss again.
It cannot have effect in reality, that is what I consider.
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