Tuesday, September 11, 2007


Two step-mom's, two very different stories:

The first one became a step-mom through default, her boyfriend had an adorable one year old that she fell in love with. His mum had checked out of the picture, a drug addict going through numerous rehab's, the father had won custody easily. This step mom has been with the child for a year now, she feeds him, bathes him, rocks him to sleep, shops for him, sings along with Elmo with him, even cuts his hair. The little boy, who is now two has taken to calling her mom, just as he learns to talk - she has his pic on her cell phone.

The second step-mom also became a step-mom through her default, her boyfriend/lover had custody of his 17 month old son, the biological mum being locked up in a mental ward. This step-mom saw the child as a threat to her relationship with the father. On a number of occasions she would beat the child or have the father do it. Other times she would leave the child in the house alone, while she went shopping. The child was taken to foster care but than returned to his father, who, along with the step-mom (who now had a child of her own), continued to abuse the baby, burning and cutting him. On the 6th of September, the baby died.

The first step mom is my hair stylist, a 23-year old. To hear her talk about her step son is to know someone who really has compassion, her station is covered with pic's of the baby, a baby that is not her's, that links her boyfriend to someone else (baby momma), but that doesn't matter to her, its so amazing! I heard about the second step-mom on the BBC, this happened in London and I'm shocked by the gruesome tale. I guess I simply can't wrap my head around how different these two women are...what made one so caring and the other so evil?

My hair stylist is not particularly religious but I think there is a very special place in heaven for her. The second woman, a purported Muslim would probably claim some religiosity...I hope there is a special place in hell for her.


Blogger JoeinVegas said...

People do what they do. Most are hard to figure out, many hard to even understand how they think. It counts as long as you are doing what you feel best for yourself.

6:10 PM  
Blogger mommanator said...

Man what polar opposites, Good for the hair dresser and SHAME on the other! She should get some of her own medicine me thinks!- Sometime in the future her natural child will start to ask her to stop-children have such nicer hearts-I hope!

6:44 PM  
Blogger Molly Malone said...

chispas! that's tragic. thank God your hairdressers stepson has her in his life!

9:12 PM  
Blogger Random Kath said...

Your hair-stylist sounds like an amazing young woman! Too many times we just hear about the abusive moms, and not enough about the caring ones.

In the case of the second mom, It sends chills to think about what that poor child went through. I know the foster care system tries its best, but it hurts that sometimes cases like this fall through the cracks for one reason or another.

9:51 AM  
Blogger Tony said...


Great post!

7:10 PM  
Blogger Brenda said...

Stories like the second one break my heart. The first stepmom will have her place in Heaven.

8:44 AM  
Blogger Virginia Gal said...

Joe - very true, many people and what they do, very hard to figure out...especially those people who do reality tv, I can't figure that out at all!

Mommantor - it is sad and I do firmly believe what comes around goes around, this lady obviously didn't think of that when abusing the baby. I think she was sentenced to like 9 years, by the time she gets out, her natural kid will barely know her. Maybe that is the punishment.

Molly - so true, she is angel. I don't think I would have the courage to do all that at such a young age, instead of partying she is a mom when she doesn't have to be. Amazing, gives me hope.

Random Kath - yes we too often here about the bad mom's...its nice to hear about a good story once in a while, no?

Tony - thank you, these two stories really just hit a nerve with me, guess its where I'm at right now.

Brenda - the second story breaks my heart as well, tragic and all I want to do is go back in time and steal that baby from these people, save him. All we can do is pray, no?

1:07 AM  
Blogger CS said...

The second woman - so sad to hear about anyone hurting a baby. It makes my skin crawl. The first one is a wonderful example of true motherhood - it's not the biology that makes someone a Mom.

11:31 AM  

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