Thanks for everyone's suggestions on the condolence message. I called and sent a card. Sadly soon after this post, the tragedy at Newton, CT happened. I cried in the car before I went in to pick up the baby at the daycare. It just broke my heart.
A family member of mine just lost a child. A baby girl, she was one year's old. We knew this was coming, the doctor had told the family before the baby was born that there was something wrong. Yet it is still sad.