New Job

Two days into the new job and I'm off mixed emotions. I love the job (back with non-descript airlines, in HR, if you can believe it?!).

However, I am very much missing baby while at work. I think I am having more separation anxiety than her! Part of the big problem is that she is not getting enough nap time. See at home she sleeps on her stomach but that is not American Pediatric Association approved. The daycare will only put her on her back. Doctors are now recommending on the back to reduce SIDS. But when we brought baby home she was having a lot of problems burping, with her stomach, so I would have her sleep on my me (on her stomach) and we just kept up that position even when she is in cradle. This has created the problem that at daycare she is not napping. She gets home and is so tired that she conks right out, leaving me with like an hour of playtime with her. I feel like I'm missing out on everything!!!

I think I'll give it a few more weeks, if things don't improve than I'll have to seriously re-consider the job - because she is the most important thing to me and I don't want to have any regrets where she is concerned.

Nighttime worries

Its midnight over here in Arizona, I should be sleeping. The baby will wake up in a few hours and I'll have no time for sleep than. But I'm in deep worry mode. I go back to work on Thursday and this means baby will have to be put in daycare. I am having a very hard time with this, with leaving her. I don't know if I can do it. Just thinking about it makes me want to cry. I want to just hold and hug her tight. I know she is going to feel so abandoned that first day, crying for momma. What a horrible momma I am not to be there to assuage her fears. Sigh. Can I do this.....

We are back!

(my mother's Virginia garden in full bloom right now)

We are back from a fantastic trip to Virginia! Baby got to visit her grandmother and grandfather and her aunt. She was the belle of the ball. They all fought over her! Inevitably my dad (her grandfather) would win.

With all that help I had a lovely time, could actually sleep in, get some rest, eat! There is nothing like being with the grandparents to realize how incredibly helpful it is to have them around!!

We are back in Arizona, though I sense that baby is missing her grandparents and aunt, she was a bit fussy all day today. I think she kept expecting grandpa to come pick her up and take her for a walk outside (which he did every day we were there) and water the plants. Of course I am missing home, but we all know that is a given, ha ha.

Tsarist Russia and baby

Baby and I are off to Washington DC tomorrow morning - for a visit with her grandparent's. I might be a bit away from this blog during that time (as I will not have my lap top with me).

She is getting cuter and cuter everyday. I love her laugh! Though I was sad today, I had to put away a bunch of her onesie's, they are too small. Everyone was right when they said they grow up too fast!! She smiles and laughs, but is still very attached to momma. I am applying for jobs but I hate the idea of leaving my dear little one. It breaks my heart. Its at times like this that I wish I lived in Western Europe, where they give mothers at least a year of maternity leave. Its so much better for the babies. I wish America would swing that way.

Just finished reading a great book about the last grand dames of Tsarist Russia. So fascinating, I love all things European royalty, particularly from the golden era, the late 1800's, early 1900's before WWI. This book, From Splendor to Revolution by Julia Gelardi, looks at the lives of four Grand Duchesses of Russia (two of whom became Queen's, one the Queen of Russia the other the Queen of Greece). One of the women it featured, Grand Duchess Maria Alexandrova (wife of Queen Victoria's son, Prince Alfred), was a hoot. She petitioned the Communist regime, right after the revolution, for the continuance of her royal allowance. Really?! You really think the Communist party, which killed half your relatives, would continue to give you a royal allowance? The country was starving, sheesh! You can either laugh at that or think she is delusional. I choose to laugh.