"All the world 's a stage, and all the men and women merely players. They have their exits and their entrances" - (Act II, Scene VII, As You Like It).
My grandfather passed on Friday, the holiest of days for Muslims. Alas, while I did fly out on Friday, I did not make it in time to see him and maybe that was a good thing. Because as he was dying, I probably would have cried all over him and that could not have helped him. My mother and my aunt were there and they said it was very peaceful. For that, I am glad.
I and everyone from the family, made it out to Florida (where he was staying in those last dying months, with my aunt and her family) for the funeral and burial which was on Saturday (in Islam burial must be done almost immediately after death, like within three days). It really helped to have the entire family there. We all cried and leaned on each other, it was also nice that everyone came! I am sure Nana would have liked that.
I am sad about my grandfather passing. I knew he was going, but still nothing ever really prepares you for this. Amazingly it helps that I'm out here in Arizona, where there is no real concrete memories of him...I don't know what I'm going to do when I go back to my parent's home though. I don't think I'll be able to walk into his room.
I miss him so much, last night before I left Florida, I wanted to go to his burial site and lay there, I worry he is lonely or afraid or scared. I have continuously been praying for Allah to protect him, keep him safe, forgive him his sins and accept him into Heaven.
I am not good with death, it is just so hard for me to think he is no longer there, no one will pick up when I ring "Nana's cell," No one coming with his tattered old car with the Obama sticker on it, no one making me laugh at silly Indian functions with his wicked sense of humor. Sigh, I must just take it day by day. I pray he is in a better place now.