Past Loves

Not sure if I mentioned that about a few weeks ago I found out that the guy I liked, infatuated ( my London guy), got married? Well he did...at least that is what I heard from a second source.

I'm bummed by this news despite the fact that he and I didn't even keep in touch that much, I think the last time I talked to him was at New Year's and that too, I didn't even know it was him ( he called to wish me a happy New Year and I was like "who is this?").

Lately all I can do is think about him...and how perfect my life would have been if only he had seen what a great catch I was (yes in my imaginations I am a great catch). Our lives would have been exactly what I wanted, close circle of friends, warm home, smart, funny kids (like a tv sitcom).

What is wrong with me?! Is this normal when you hear a so-called ex has moved on...found someone else?

I feel like Sally in that movie...When Harry Met Sally, when she cries about how the boyfriend who told her he would never get married - gets married, to another girl. You suddenly feel inadequate, though in my case....rumor has it that he married a distant relative, family pressure. Is it wrong that I hope this girl is a witch and ugly?

Right, classes start tomorrow, so my brain will be focused elsewhere...one can pray, no?

India...musings

These are not images of India's Independence Day celebrations, amazingly I couldn't find anything that really did the day justice, I guess you'll have to just go to India on August 15th and experience it yourself!

But I did want to include these photos because it really captures the spirit of the kite flying (festive bright colors, to match the childlike innocence of the the "sport"), standing in front of an Indian kite stall is like being at a candy store, so many fascinating visuals. The pictures also serve to show what the homes in India look like - flat rooftops or terraces, where I would be standing to watch the kite flying (and yes everything is that close together, particularly in New Delhi, which is after all a big city, space is money).

Additionally, I'm trying mediation as a means of combatting my bouts of sadness and feelings of being aimless/useless to the world, without purpose. A wise person refered me to this quote by Gandhiji and I like to think that, though he is dead, perhaps he is saying this to me...to help me in my life quest.

Whatever you do will be insignificant, but it is very important that you do it.
You must be the change you want to see in the world.

Mahatma Gandi

No Whining Zone

Enough whining by Virginia Gal...at least for this week (smile). Thanks for everyone's kind words and sentiments, guess I'm just going through something right now - hopefully it too will pass (or I'll get committed - whichever comes first).

School starts in a week - lord I'm so not ready. One of my professors gave us a reading assignment already. HEL-LO doesn't he know we are still on vacation? Sheesh! I think I'll wait till next week to get started on that..that class isn't until Tuesday August 28th anyway.

India's Inpendence Day was yesterday http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/south_asia/6947226.stm - I've spent a number of childhood summers in India, during Independence Day celebrations. It is lots of fun, lots of color, lights, partying. One of the traditions in the big cities, like New Delhi, is for people to go fly kites on house roofs (almost all homes in India are built with flat roofs, terraces on top). You can look up at the sky and see thousands of these paper kites in multicolors and designs, really pretty! The kids partake in kite fights, where you work to cut the string of other's kites with your own, while still keeping your kite flying. These kite fights can get intense but since the paper kites cost like nothing, a few rupee's, its all in good fun. My sister, the sports lover, learned to fly the kites; me - never could get the hang of it and rather enjoyed watching others. I loved visiting around Independence Day - my uncles would have the day off and spend it at home entertaining my sister and I.

My cousins just got back from a big trip to India - haven't talked to them yet but am dying to hear how they enjoyed it. They hadn't been back in ages, like ten years (I'm the only one of the seven cousins, who tries to go back every year, this year would have gone as well but my parents didn't want to foot the air bill, I'm so spoiled, hee hee).

Neadering

Worked Dave Matthews concert last night....crazy ass fans - drunk, stoned, angry. Pavilion was sold out..people were whiny, 'too much traffic, too many people, not enough room on the lawn." Blah blah blah...yeah like I can control the flow of cars on 495 (the Beltway), if I had that power do you think I'd be working this $8 an hour part time job?! Sheesh! So instead I apologize...customers - always to blame, never to praise.

Heard a line from a Will & Grace re-run the other day...does it apply to me? "You're dull, ugly and you don't make me laugh"....is that why I suddenly feel so alone?? Like tomorrow I could walk into the ocean and disappear and only my family would notice. I'm tired of always being the one to email my friends. I say friends..but are they really? No one ever writes me to see how I'm doing - its always the other way around. Maybe I'm just a sad sack of a loser and no one wants to be my friend, hence they never write. Its only out of pity they respond when I write.."poor Virginia Gal, she's dull, ugly and doesn't make me laugh, but I'll write her because otherwise she has no friends." And I'm always the one making plans to get together...now I'm starting to see it must be for this reason, "I'm dull, ugly and don't make people laugh."

Being Sick

This summer has brought home to me, more than ever, the crumbling sad pathetic state of America's health care system.

I'm (knock on wood) usually a very healthy person, but for some reason (well my mum say's its because I'm working three jobs), I've gotten pretty sick all this summer. Right now I'm battling a summer cold - which, if you've never had, sucks! Before this it was the earache and let's not forget my clumsiness resulting in a broken left foot...joy. I refuse to go to the doctor for a cold, I'm just praying that this doesn't a) spiral into something more b) is with me on Friday when I fly, because than I could get another earache...urgh.

What is wrong with our country, moreover our citizens that we can't shell out a few extra tax dollars so that all people can be covered medically? Are we that selfish that we can't do this? Where is our so-called Christian compassion? And spare me the crap about how universal health care doesn't work in Canada or England, they may have their problems but at least if you break a foot (like me) you don't have to wait a week till you can get to urgent care because you know you can't go to the ER for fear of a huge bill. Utter nonsense!!

Let's not forget the DC area boy who earlier this year died because he had a tooth infection left untreated http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2007/02/27/AR2007022702116.html
what a preventable tragedy!!

As I've said before...health care should be a universal right, people's lives, living and dying should not be a matter of balance sheets and stockholder interest. This is ridiculious!!

If you're as outraged as I am (and if you're not, what's wrong with you?!) do two things:
1. Go see Sicko - the new Michael Moore flick, like him or hate him, he has a really good point in the movie.

2. Sign up for action here - http://www.healthcare-now.org/

Here's hoping in my lifetime the United States of America will see universal health care.

Missing Monday

Brandon Dean Lyons, II was last seen by family members at his home in Spotsylvania Co, VA on Thursday, June 21, 2007. He was seen removing personal items from his residence. Mr. Lyons has a history of depression but has not been taking his medications since childhood. He may be operating a teal in color 1994 Ford Thunderbird, 2 door, with VA tag# MFPV8.

Mr. Lyons has a scar on the inside of his left wrist and he has asthma. Missing From: Spotsylvania, Virginia Missing Since: 6/21/07

This is especially sad to me, as I'm currently going through a bout of depression myself. I pray that Brandon is safe and found soon, back to his loving family.